Police on killing spree? 48 hour recap and how going to sleep won’t cure your depression

July 7, 2016 § Leave a comment

My mistake was consuming too much water last night. I should have never gotten up to use the restroom. Damn, I should have stayed asleep and let my bladder ruin over night.

bc6cd6806c2cdbdeef6aec277b80123cLike most black people who keep up with current events and history, (basically any person who is woke and thinks beyond the day to day existence), I dream of leaving this land to a place where my blackness is not a threat to be gunned down. This feeling resurfaces whenever a police killing goes viral. This time, from the north to the south, almost as a reminder that we are all screwed, Alton Sterlin in Baton Rouge and Philando Castile near Minneapolis were killed by race-soldiers fronting to be police officers. Sterling was killed in Baton Rouge for selling CDs outside and many questions still surround the case. Castile murder was also caught on cam by his girlfriend in the passenger seat. What is for certain is that neither men would have been killed, under any other circumstance, then the current one we are in, being the system of white supremacy. Which isn’t a circumstance by the way…


Unlike most black males, I am not afraid to admit that depression covers me from time to time. Yes, I get depressed by the steady diet of black men and women being killed by what appears to be scary, untrained police race-soldiers. Beyond the psychological impact of watching such footage, there is a desensitization process that occurs as your social media feed fills up with black blood. Black blood appears on our TV almost as frequently as it does a hip hop record. What is black people’s obsession with black death? What message does black death send to both white and non-whites about black life? These questions should be explored more in depth.

Often, I imagine  the depth of MLK Jr’s depression when he sat in jail and didn’t see the fruits of his labor. I am asserting he went through moods of depression. I have never been jailed for my activism but I do go through moods. The depression doesn’t activate after an incident; the depression occurs at the response. In short, the response usually goes like this:

We discover the victim’s record before his name. We never get the cops name. FOX News justifies it. CNN is horrible too. Black politicians who probably run that city, do nothing. Black attorney general and black president, yeah right. Most people side with the cop. Pray, march, hashtag. Dwayne Wade traded to Bulls. Social media overload. Yall need to go vote.

That…above me…is depressing! Feeling helpless and hopeless is depressing!

I  was in a similar situation as Castile and his girlfriend was.

I was pulled over by Grand Prairie Police two weeks ago. My hands remained on the wheel and made no sudden movements. I rolled my window down three inches (that’s my rule)  and he greeted me. He asked. “Why are your hands on the steering wheel? Are you armed?” “No, but I know the protocol and I don’t trust y’all,”  I replied. The protocol, for the record, was to be in a slave-like, prisoner of war (POW) position. He told me why I was pulled over and asked if I could show my license and insurance. I informed him that my wallet was in my back seat and my insurance in the glove department. I usually tell police this before reaching for either one but that morning I had two clients to meet and didn’t think it through. I reached for my wallet in my back pocket, only to have the officer back up a bit and reach for his pistol. At that moment, my life flashed before my eyes, as I then realized my mistake and the jeopardy I was in.  All the while he ran my plates and walked around my vehicle, my hands remained on the wheel. Needless to say I made it out alive.

While the cases produced different conclusions, viewing the video captured by his girlfriend reminded me of that situation. A traffic stop can result in sudden death. In Sterling’s case, the body cam happened to fall off during the encounter, which for all intent and purposes, may or not be true.  Let me remind you that the black state senator in Dallas believes it is OK for officers to have the choice to “activate a camera or may choose to discontinue a recording” in progress for any “nonconfrontational encounter with a person…”

Imagine the lies on top of lies, on top of lies, on top of lies that would have flowed from Castile’s case if his brave girlfriend didn’t record?

Lastly, in Castile’s video, you hear his girlfriend is crying and telling the police that he is a working man and not a criminal and/or gang member. Immaterial. Unfortunately, she learned too late. In a system of white supremacy, your college degree, occupation, clothing, name pronunciation and spelling, etc., is secondary. In my opinion, there has to be many, many more victims before black people get the message: our skin is the greatest sin.  Until racism is addressed, body cams, special prosecutors, training, having black people in government, etc. are all distractions.

Please, elected officials save us. Loretta Lynch — will you save us?.


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